Springboob Squirepants has had many episodes and an equal number of hiatuses and angry fans. We've made a comprehensive list of those episodes because we don't have lives and we are fucking losers.
Season 1 Edit
- Help Wanted - Springboob bones Mr. Kraps for a job, and special guest Tiny Tim tries to fight off a horde of anchovies with his beautiful singing voice
- Reef Blower - In an episode told from the point of view of someone who can hear only Hawaiin music, Squidward performs "coral sex" on a coral reef
- Tea at the Treedome - Springboob meets Sandy for the first time, and he goes to Patback for help getting some mad squirrel pussy. Patback tells him "when in doubt, whip it out", and Springboob loses his virginity while Patback gets boned by a horny Bubble Bass .
- Bubblestand - Springboob starts selling a dangerous drug known as "bubbles" on the street, and when Squidward threatens to turn him into the police, he offers to teach Squidward the technique to getting high off of the bubbles
- Ripped Pants - Springboob rips his pants in public then gets anally sodomized by an eel. Meanwhile, one of the many Larrys in this show (the lobster) is arrested for boning Sandy after getting too horny from his own alcoholic protein shake stand.
- Dankmemes! - Dankmemes, Mr. Kraps' rival and former gay lover, tries to convince Springboob to have sex with him. When that fails, he gets inside of Springboob's juicy asshole with his stiff dick and they perform all types of gay sex acts in front of Dankmemes's talking laptop Ken
- Naughty Nautical Neighbors - The legendary unaired episode, which Mr. Krabs is searching for so he can sell it on the internet. Eyewitness accounts describe it as ”full of drugs, semen, and a whole lotta coral sex”.
- Boating School - Springboob fails at sex-ed class with his teacher, Big Fat Meanie, for the 36th time. Tired of failing, he relies on Patback, the ultimate sex machine, to help him pass sex-ed. Unfortunately, Springboob gets too horny and starts fucking Big Fat Meanie on the floor. Also, Pole is his girlfriend in this episode, so technically he's cheating.
- Pizza Delivery - Springboob and Squidwurd are forced to deliver cocaine laced pizza to some asshole. Along the way, they encounter problems with the police, sing along to Slayer and smoke crack rocks. Also, Squidward lobotomizes the customer after he's mean to SpringBoob *AAAAWWWWWWW*
- Home Sweet Pineapple - Springboob's home dissapears, and he tries to find another house to avoid having his alcoholic parents force him to live in their sex dungeon.
- Mermaid Fucker And Barnacle Bitch - Springboob and Patback learn that their favorite gay pornstars are still alive and in a mental asylum. They decide to bust them out to try and revive their glory days by recording them and posting their shit on Brazzers.
- Pickles - Bubble Ass demands for a burger with pickles. Springboob forgets the pickles, so he has a mental breakdown and turns to excessive use of Morphine. However, he gets his chance for redemption, goes back into the kitchen, cooks Bubble Ass a burger...and forgets the pickles. Goddamn it
- Hall Monitor - Springboob is given the chance to become a hall monitor by Big Fat Meanie. He uses his power to harrass minorities and to assassinate The Open Window Burgler
- Jellyfish Jam - Springboob jams a pack of jellyfish into Gary's genitals, causing Gary to jizz and impregnate them. Springboob must then perform around a dozen abortions
- Sandy's Rocket - Sandy Cheeks make the world's largest dildo into a spaceship, making Springboob and Patback very horny. Then Springboob and Patback put on VR headsets and shoot the shit out of everyone in Your Mom's Bikini Bottom.
- Squeaky Boots - Pole is excited for her birthday present from Mr. Kraps, but when she looks in the gift box, it's just his dick for the eleventh time.
- Nature Pants - Springboob has a perfectly chill life at the Krusty Krap but decides he would rather leave his 9 friends in Your Mom's Bikini Bottom to live in the wild with jellyfish. He dies.
- Opposite Day - Springboob convinces Patback that it's Opposite Day so Patback will tell the opposite of the truth when the cops interrogate him. The cops know it's Opposite Day too, so when Patback tells them he didn't murder Mr. Kraps, Pole, and Big Fat Meanie, he is jailed for life.
- Culture Shock - Squidwurd wants to show everyone his dick at the talent show, but Mr. Kraps will only allow it if Pole goes on stage and becomes a star too.
- F.U.N. - Ken the Computer tells Dankmemes he needs to befriend Springboob if he ever wants to steal the Krusty Krap's secret weed recipe.
- MuscleBob BuffPants - Springboob gets a pair of anchor arms so he can jerk off even faster than before.
- Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost - Springboob is sad when he thinks Squidwurd died and became a ghost, so he kills the rest of the ten main characters so they can join Squidwurd in the ghost world. There is no ghost world.
- The Chaperone - Mr. Kraps forces Springboob to fuck Pole.
- Employee of the Month - Springboob really wants to be Employee of the Month, so he sucks Mr. Kraps' dick for a week but Mr. Kraps still gives the award to Squidwurd.
- Scaredy-Ass - Tired Of being called a “Scaredy-Ass” Springboob makes Patback dress him up as an EA executive to terrify the partygoers at the Krusty Krap’s annual Halloween Orgy. He scares the shit out of them. Literally. Shit flies everywhere.
- I was a teenage Gary - Springboob And Squidwurd pretend to be snails for a sexual fantasy. Their fun is ruined when Patback nails Squidwurd in the balls with a rock and gives him autism.
- SB-420 - Squidwurd accidentally finds himself in the future with robotic versions of Springboob and Patback. He stays there anyway ’cause the weed makes him go higher.
- Karate Choppers - Springboob learns karate from Sandy, and starts acting like a squinty-eyed Asian.
- Sleepy Time - Spongebob has a wet dream so good, he shits himself.
- Suds - Springboob gets a sexual disease after hanging around minorities. He infects Mr. Kraps with it, cause he’s a selfish bitch.
- Valentines Day - Springboob And Patback feel the love for Valentine’s Day. In other words, they have a massive orgy at Patrick’s Rock.
- The Paper - Squidwurd finds a list of things Springboob hates. When he sees “Squidwurd’s Shitty Clarinet Playing”, He shoves the paper up his ugly ass.
- Arrgh! - Is exactly what Mr. Krabs said when he got herpes.
- Rock Hard Dick - Springboob And Patback visit the town of Rock Hard Dick, and lose even more virginity.
- Tex-ass - Sandy wants to go back to Tex-ass. Springboob And Patback relentlessly mock her homeland, only to be murdered when she goes on a rampage and get mutilated so badly that the Coroner retires on the spot.
- Walking Small - Dankmemes tricks Springboob into killing beach bums with kindness. Which is what he calls his AK-47.
- Fools in April - Mr. Kraps struggles to find his micropenis, While Squidwurd makes Springboob think he’s retarded for April Fools.
- Neptune’s Dildo - Springboob gets his hands on the legendary Neptune’s Dildo. He breaks his neck when he tries to shove it up his ass.
- Hooky - Springboob skips work to mercilesson rape Sandy with Patback. They both get arrested by The Your Mom’s Bikini Bottom Police Force...for childhood obesity.
- Mermaid Fucker and Barnacle Bitch II - Springboob needs Mermaid Fucker and Barnacle Bitch’s help when he can’t get horny off of horn porn.
Season 2 Edit
25. Pre-hibernation week - Sandy and Springboob decide to fuck each other before she hibernates, which she doesn't even do. They then have babies that they kill due to them being too horny. They both get arrested for life.
26. Life of Crime - Springboob and Patback steal some money to afford more of the white stuff that makes them feel giggly inside. They go on the run, set up camp on the outskirts, have a massive fallout over their waste of rations, have a threesome with a sea bear, and are mauled to death by said bear......All without realizing it’s FUCKING FREE MONEY DAY!!!!!!!
27. Your Shoe’s Untied, Fucko - Springboob, Patback ,and Squidwurd Try on some pimped-out clothing. Meanwhile, a department store in Cleveland is found with the cashier shot dead and half their stock of fancy clothes and shit gone...
28. Squid's Day Off - Squidwurd and Springboob run the Krusty Krap while Mr. Kraps is in hospital for injuring himself while trying to wank on his sink as replacement for drain cleaner. Instead of the responsible deputy boss that Squidwurd typically is, Squidwurd stays at home while Springboob is running the restaurant. While staying at home, Squidwurd realized that Springboob enjoys frying buildings to oblivion for fun. Instead of fucking his pillow to the thought of his former girlfriend, Squidwurd quickly ran back to the Krusty Krap, but realized it was too late. The Krusty Krap has been burnt down. Now Squidwurd has to pay all the expensive bills because Springboob received third-degree burns.